Chip aka ECU/reflash etc. Apparently there aren't any options.
Bullbar would be for some light offroading, but also aesthetics, someplace to mount aux lights, and to keep my wife from bumping anything at the mall
Ah, got it. Hmmm....
I suggest perhaps a change in perspective might be necessary. The LR3 is not a tuner car, nor is it an Escalade. It is a unique creature that will grow with you. I promise you, you will not fully understand and appreciate this vehicle's potential and capabilities for quite some time. You will need to expand/alter your frame of reference considerably before you begin to understand just what kind of vehicle the LR3 can be.
Chip'ing: Land Rover has a habit of rolling out software packages from time to time that erase whatever enchancements the aftermarket chipset provided. In the UK, quite a few people use a product called Turbo Chip specifcally for the turbo diesel powered LR3 (TdiV6). I don't know ANYONE who has benefically chipped the petrol based version. With 300 hp stock, hasn't been much need for it. Easier to drive more agressively for a while, and let the car learn your preferences, and it will. The engine/tranmission management system is adaptive. Since your's is used, perhaps your deal with the dealership can wipe the memory settings clean and give you a good fresh baseline to adapt from. Then there is always the option to snick the transmission to the left into Sport mode, twirl the TR into Sand mode, and mash the go pedal with great abandon
Bull Bar: I strongly reccommend against them. The metal bars you've seen only bolt to the bottom of the truck with a few small bolts, and do nothing more than dent your hood in addition to the bumper when you hit something. Something slightly more protective is the factory A-Bar system, which is plastic, but does offer mounting locations for lights. Here are a few pictures of this:
As for lights, I STRONGLY reccomend you stay away from the Land Rover off road lights. A dim candle on a windy day in the fog will produce more light. Get some proper LightForce or Hella HID off road lights and you will be MUCH happier. However, if you have the xeons already (not sure if you do), you will not NEED off road lights. The Xeons are stupendously bright. Anything else is just decoration, not functional. If you have the stock Halogen, they can be upgraded to xeon bulbs with an aftermarket harness kit for about $350. Either of these two options will produce more and better lighting than a bumper mounted aftermarket light.
The best thing you can do for your LR3 is to donate the factory Goodyear Wrangler HP tires to the local recycle center, and by proper tires for it. The HP's suck in every category possible for a tire to be listed in. Here is a link to tire info:
http://blog.nextstepdesigns.com/?p=46
The next best thing you can do is attend your dealers next quarterly "Wheeler Day" event where they take you off roading. These events are very basic, but they are off pavement and will dip your toe into the ocean of potential within these vehicles.
Then, seek out your nearest Land Rover club. For example, in the Los Angeles area, the club is
www.sclr.org. We do regular trail runs, at least monthly. Here is a link to a few SCLR runs:
http://blog.nextstepdesigns.com/?cat=26