I have a lot of questions – if anyone is able to answer them, I’d be very grateful.
Katie
-a newer lr4 is going to have less issues most likely. that may be balanced by the xc90 being it's first year and could have it's own annoying dealer trips. how close to you is a volvo dealer?
-i would not expect volvo parts or labor to be any less $ at all. they're both foreign and european in general as well as less common than ford or toyota
-of course the lr4 will "lean", its suspension is designed to be amazing in very rugged off road conditions. therefor it will have more sway than a stiff car. The volvo is more of a stiff car regardless of it's size or suspension height. more comparable to the volvo is a porsche cayenne, audi Q7, or bmw x5, or mercedes GL with the GL being the most "like" an actual truck-ish suv. I suppose the ML is more like the other soft-roaders I listed. They are all "car" based whereas the lr4 is truck based.
As for that ground clearance thing, I don't think the lr4 says 7" as the standard but regardless, it can raise to 12" or so and that's at the low points, most of it will be higher. There is even a function where it will raise itself another 2" if it senses the need for more height based on getting grounded on an object. There is basically no comparison whatsoever in this aspect.
-front bumper appearance and toughness appeal
the lr4 design will simply look more at attention "standing tall" as you put it just due to the shape of the front end. the volvo looks pretty "cool" now but it also is trying in its design to be lower and more car-like / pedestrian friendly.
-while the volvos have often been considered great for moose impacts, i'd rather be in my lr3 than a lower riding/lower hood and windshield volvo.
-safety wise...well, i'd rather hit or be hit in the lr4, but, safety is also about avoidance. while the volvo may be able to dart away from a collision a bit quicker, you may see the situation developing sooner from the seat of the lr4. just last week a large deer with a deathwish or wrong end of a dumb dare between the other deer, jumped out so quick i was amazed I twitched around it. steering through a chosen path while also braking hard into the abs zone is an amazing thing when you get to experience it. I do have a better overall view of the road from the lr3 seat than in my much quicker bmw 5 series wagon which handles like a sports car by comparison. it begins to even out if you have more time to identify dangers ahead.
-the 3rd row seats, yes, a little annoying but with the kids you have, will they pretty much just get into a habit of sitting in the same places and maybe one of the 3rd row stays up while the other is down most of the time? what's kind of cool is that you could have both 3rd row up and only one 2nd row up with the other two folded, or any combination you can think of including the middle 2nd row on it's own separate movement too.
-as for "difficult" 3rd row and tail gate use, i like to think of such things as good for keeping you strong and flexible. there are too many things that soften us too much these days. being stronger is not a bad thing!
-the lr3 or lr4 size appearance is an illusion, however when you read specification figures, they aren't all going to be using the same guidelines necessarily. one company may say width is outside edge of the mirrors while another refers to the body, or in the case of lr4, the fender flares. proportionally though, the lr4 is much taller and will end up looking narrower due to the height and smoother slanting sides.
-it may not matter too much to you but one area that won me over to the lr3 i bought new in 2007 was the pure functionality of the area behind the front seats. lots of cargo floor to ceiling height and pretty much a continuous flat area can be created still with 5 seats embedded into the floor. very cool! and the 3 sunroofs make it feel so nice back there for sitting as a passenger or camping.
for a test drive you should get a friend to drive and you be the 2nd and 3rd row passenger. it's really actually fun to be back there.
-some neat features on an lr4, one touch for the rear window first click drops it just 2" which is enough to vent but doesn't cause that buffeting effect. 3rd row gets a very good working hvac system that is also useful going solo to put damp hiking shoes back there for drying or to cool a dog with more cold ac than you want up front. it's all mix-match adjustments as needed or fully automatic.
-i have not read the specs BUT I am willing to bet you a coffee that the lr4 can more safely haul more weight as cargo. cargo is everything, you and kids and gear included. it's pretty amazing really, the land rovers have been designed to "safely" haul more cargo than these other very nice but car-like vehicles for a long time. even if a car says payload of 1200 lbs which should be enough to cover 7 adults, there is no way it will do it as effortlessly and without the driver noticing handling changes that get a bit scary at speed. anyway, i think the lr4 will haul 7 200 lb people with no issue whatsoever.
you can use this backwards though like when sizing a backpack, a pack designed to carry 75 lbs is going to be more comfortable carrying 50 lbs than a pack designed to only carry 50 lbs max.
-winter use. it might seem like a lighter vehicle will be "better" but in softer snow and if using studs, more weight actually gets more bite per square inch. if it's purely a steep downhill stop, then i'm not sure being lighter will help as much as you think because it will also tend to float rather than bite. sand is where super light is the king or super fast and/or really fat tires to float on, but that's more technical than i think you care about just yet... a land rover may change that though
-studded nokian winter tires on an lr4 would be pretty much unstoppable if you learned how to use the traction programs more than just driving in standard.
-where are you located that you might care about studs and are also 3 hrs drive from a dealer in mtns? there are independent shops and having work done at them if land rover certified techs, is not a bad thing if you have a good relationship with the land rover dealer. this only matters if you buy through a land rover dealer and are having to maintain the warranty terms or cpo terms.
-cpo is not always the best way to go though. cpo is only 6 years total coverage time and up to 100,000 miles. AND i think now has a $100 per instance deductible and does not cover as much as some actual 3rd party warranties. So, if you buy a new lr4, just make sure to calculate your expected needs for miles and years. for me it worked out that 100,000 miles needed more than 7 but less than 8 years total. i paid $4500 for the extra 50k and 4 years time and bought that right before the factory 4 yr/50k was ending. if i were buying a new-ish lr4, i would probably not buy the warranty next time as they are more reliable than my 07 lr3. Conversely, people who drive at least 25,000 miles per year, have no business buying any extended warranty because they'll hit the 100k in the first 4 years anyway.
-lastly, the volvo is "nice", very nice really, but you said it yourself already and felt it right up front before posting here. you liked how it felt to be in the lr4. simple to some degree. just do what the guy above said, negotiate something that makes it work for you like they come get the vehicle, there's no deductible, loaner car for you if you do happen to take it, etc. all in writing though as a manager could leave next month, even dealer owners change. I once got $7000 off a new audi s4 which had a sticker msrp $57k. then added on 10% off parts for life and a $1000 parts dept credit for the snow tires. this is just to say, everything is negotiable. come up with creative "extras" after the bottom line purchase number though.
